Don’t Let Numbers Define You
Define Smart Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely Goals
Developing a SMART goal can be a helpful way to keep focused on what you would like to achieve in this lifetime. However, sometimes it is quite easy to get caught up in achieving something so much so that it becomes the very thing that consumes you.
The measurable and timely aspect of a SMART goal can be what trips most people up. Measuring something against a standard or numerical system and completing a personal goal within a specific time frame can place a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. The main objective should be not only completing the goal but also, ensuring that the goal is one that is sustainable for the long term.
Let’s flashback to my high school years when I struggled with perfectionism.
I had always been a straight-A student all throughout school, but when I went to high school, I decided to challenge myself to another extreme. There is nothing wrong with challenging yourself and striving for success; however, the keyword highlighting error here is the word extreme.
I went to a magnet high school that provided a rigorous curriculum and a heavy course load. I took a total of 7 AP classes and the rest were honors classes. I was doing extremely well in mathematics in my junior year of high school.
To give you an idea of how well I was doing in school, I had 100s in 5 of my classes and A’s in the other 2 with a 97 being the lowest grade on my report card. Due to extra credit, I ended up with a 107 in math junior year. My grades were so high that it actually crashed the system; therefore, my teacher had to go back in and lower my grade to a 100. My math teacher encouraged me to skip the next math course in my senior year and go for AP Statistics instead.
I was so focused on getting the best grades imaginable that I lost sight of who I was outside of the numbers. I always completed every single extra credit assignment anytime it was offered even though I didn’t necessarily need it. You see, I was somewhat unhappy with my life. I felt a lack of control over my own life. As minors, we depend on adults to guide our lives. We have very little control over our lives, or so we believe.
As teenagers, we are expected to act like mature adults, yet we are treated like children. I could not control certain aspects of my life at the time; however, I could control my grades, and boy did I get lost in the numbers!
The first attack on my ego came senior year. I had A’s in all my honor classes and even in AP Macroeconomics, but I was definitely struggling in AP Statistics and AP Literature (by my own standards at least.) I was averaging low A’s to high B’s in these classes throughout the year. I was able to pull out A’s in both classes by the end of the year, but that is neither here nor there.
The point is I was struggling emotionally because of my “low” grades. The problem was I was letting numbers define me. I was unhappy because I was placing my self-worth in external things. I was giving power to these numbers; I was giving my power away to these numbers. I lost motivation to even go to school.
As the year went on, I thought something was genuinely wrong with me, and there was, just not what I thought it was. I thought I was cognitively declining. Irrational, I know, but that is what can happen when you lose sight of who you are as a person.
By the time it was time to apply for colleges, I did not really want to go to college, so I only applied to one school: a technical college. I figured a four-year university would just be too much for my declining brain, so I would play it safe and go to a two-year college to get a backup plan degree in Dental Hygiene. That did not happen by the way. I somehow got finagled into going to nursing school (read oof.)
In my first year of college, I was still attached to my past behavior. I decided that I wanted to enter a competitive program. I decided that I would not make any grade lower than a 98 in a class. Well, to say the least, I failed at that, so I changed my standards to a 96. It was finally time to take Anatomy and Physiology 1. This class was notorious for being extremely hard; however, I was determined to get a high A in A&P 1&2 for both lecture and lab. I did something better. I actually made history. I was the first person at the college to maintain a 100 average in both lecture and lab for A&P 1.
This time, although I was extremely proud of myself, I was not caught up in the numbers. See, it is not that numbers are evil; it is simply getting caught in the destructive cycle of letting numbers define you that is evil.
Another good opportunity that came from setting goals that would not rule my life was an amazing, rewarding job. Since I did so well in English and Humanities, one of my professors offered me a job to work as a writing tutor. I truly loved my job as a writing tutor because I was able to help other students improve their writing as well as work on my passion (hence why I am here writing this now.)
I have always had an extreme love of writing. It is so therapeutic and relaxing for me. It was an honor that I got to help others in their journey as well, especially non-traditional students who were returning to college after completing their GED. There is magic that happens when you set goals and are not super hard on yourself when accomplishing them.
Do not under any circumstances ever let numbers define you: albeit your bank account, your weight, your grades, and gee, even your reads on Medium. The only thing that matters is who you are as a person and how you treat others. Maybe you haven’t been that nice to others; maybe you haven’t been that nice to yourself. Well, you have the power to change that. Don’t dim your light. Shine bright and snatch back your power from all external sources that may be leeching off of it. Be the best version of yourself. You owe it to yourself.
